Mafe Maria: A Creative Playground by Maria Q. Stultz

So, after two very great (and unusual) experiences joining Kiki’s activities with full openness and enthusiasm… And perhaps as a result of the atonement experience I had yesterday… And in response to my prayer to open again the channel with Source because I felt so uninspired all last week… The guidance I’m receiving today is very enlightening.

What I’m seeing is the way how lately, sometimes, I’ve closed the channel with Kiki. It manifested in my longing for solitude, in my annoyance when he pursued conversations with me while I was doing dishes or drying my hair, and I told myself that I’d rather have my thoughts than engage in his topic. Why?… Perhaps because it was “meaningless” to me — how interesting that meaninglessness is appearing right now after doing so many exercises from “A Course in Miracles”.

So, because I thought I had tried plenty and failed, I decided that there were some things Joaquin is motivated by and I’m just not. This issue is something I explored with William during our Son-Rise Intensive week and couldn’t really resolve, so the pattern has continued at home. It may be the reason why despite the good experiences I have every day playing in the Romper Room with Joaquin, and despite my commitment to do it, there’s still a pattern of procrastination to get myself in and close the door. Because I keep hanging on to not liking these topics, motivations, activities, and I feel that I’ll have to respond enthusiastically to them in the room. I allow myself to be blah about them out of the room (“I’m not ready to play yet”) but the fact remains: I’m not interested in certain stuff. … Continue reading »