Men are from Mars… Warriors from Mars.
Life • June 9th, 2006Exhibit A
Uniandes (college)
My friend Beatríz and I discover that our favorite burger place on campus, where we usually camp between classes, rents games, and hey! we didn’t know each other played chess… We rent a chess set and start playing.
A few friends start coming from class, and noticing we’re playing, stop at our table. Of all these casual visitors, Nicolás and Pollo take an acute interest. They take seats at our table. Nicolás seats by me and starts giving me unsolicited advice. Pollo does the same with Beatríz. We go for one or two more rounds of moves until suddenly, Nicolás grabs the board and turns it 90° so my pieces now face him and Beatríz’s face Pollo, as he loudly says: “Te masacraré, Pollo!”.
Exhibit B
Our neighbors’ vacation home (back when I was 15 or so).
In addition to our neighbors’ son (Federico), this trip counts with two more teenager boys from our neighborhood, Federico’s cousin, my sister and I… Three guys, and three girls. The guys have brought “RISK”, so on our first night out we decide to play in couples: Federico and Lola (can’t remember her name); Germán and I; Mauricio and Ana.
The couple scheme seems to be working well as the guys discuss strategies with their girl partners. We all come up with plans and start playing. A few moves into the game Germán and I attack the positions of Mauricio and Ana. Mauricio’s desperate answer: “Germán, le voy a partir el culo” (Translation: “I’ll kick your ass”, but literally: “I’ll split your ass in two”).
Exhibit C
My apartment (a few years before marrying Joey)
Joey has just bought a collectors edition of RISK. We get some drinks and snacks and prepare for a night of battle. We start the game and I get the first move. I attack him full force leaving him with tired and decimated troops. He can’t recover from the massacre and eventually loses the game to me.
We go for a second game. Same result. I can see his disappointment.
Not sure if we go for a third. I keep kicking his butt all night until I finally get sleepy. Almost with tears in his eyes he begs me not to go to bed yet: “PLEASE!!!! Give me another chance!”… yeah, another chance to kick my butt and restore his manly pride.
