Comments on: Noche de Perros

By: Maria

Maria — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 19:36:13 +0000

Some women get their milk that soon? Man, how lucky!
I can’t complain… After you told me that yours came days later than mine, I went down on my knees and thanked God for just having to go through ONE hell night.

On the next night (my last one at the hospital) I attended a breastfeeding class at the hospital. The only other mom attending was very young (like in her early 20s). Her husband was with her. They had already used a bottle of formula. Poor guys… It’s so tempting to give up…

I’m glad that it worked out for us, because people may not know this, but getting your milk and the kid to learn how to latch on are just the first two challenges of breastfeeding… Then you go home and have to deal with more tear-jerking episodes: The decision of nursing on a schedule or on demand; breast pumps not working for you (it finally works: Hallelujah!); feelings of guilt when people suggest that you may be doing things wrong; feelings of hopelessness when you think that you have become a faceless boob for your child… I remember one day when I was feeling specially blue, the pump didn’t work, I was afraid I couldn’t introduce the bottle on time, I was still resisting the huge change to my daily routine (i.e. boob, boob, boob, no time for anything else), it was probably my third outburst over it… I was wrestling with the breast pump when I came downstairs and found Joey playing with the baby. I cried as I thought: “Everyone gets to play with my baby, except for me. I don’t have time between feedings, and Joaquin only sees me as a faceless boob”.

Things have gone a long way since then… There’s nothing faceless about me anymore. Joaquin loves playing with me, and I’m the one who spends most time playing with him… Still, for all new moms out there still crying… Hang on. I understand. And if you don’t hang on… I also understand.

By: Marla

Marla — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 18:59:24 +0000

I love your pediatrician and your description of the nurses! My milk didn’t come in for 4 days. That 3rd night was the most memorable night of our lives and yeah, FAILURE is the word that goes through your head and it doesn’t help to have people who don’t remember the agony or have never gone through it because their milk came in the day the baby was born stand over you with a club to tell you how much you already suck at giving sustenance to your child.

By: Us

Us — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 04:14:30 +0000

I guess I have nothing to contribute.

By: Nursing « Pico DiPaolo

Nursing « Pico DiPaolo — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 02:35:21 +0000

[...] So, I did fail. Maria mentions not wanting to fail in her blog, and it’s the best way to put it. I don’t disagree with her saying so and I certainly think she actually gives me more credit then I deserve with the hardship of my experience. It was rough for me, but it’s also rough for a lot of moms who get through it. I think it’s one of the biggest reasons I didn’t have a second baby sooner. I just had such a horrible, horrible first go with Joelle. I distinctly remember telling my mom, “I liked my life better before!” Of course, this isn’t true. My life has so much more depth, color and joy with both my girls, but those first few weeks of Joelle’s life were not the best of times. [...]

By: Petie

Petie — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 02:34:11 +0000

I saw your comment over on our blog… Chris is going to link to your blog, like you did above. I just don’t know how to do that.

Anyway, no, I didn’t take it that you thought I was a failure. I knew what you meant. I personally did also feel like a failure, so I know exactly how desperate you were to make it work. This is why I carried around a lot of guilt for a long time, but I had to let it go.

By: Petie

Petie — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 21:59:54 +0000

I loved this story. It inspired me to finally write a little of my own bit about it. It’s been so long that it isn’t as good as yours though. I’m so proud of you and so happy for little Joaquin. That funny little chubby tummy. :)

Also, I think you’re too kind to me… it was rough, but plenty of moms get through it. Although, I do appreciate it. Lots of folks can get kind of crabby about breast feeding vs. formula. So, I do value when people respect both choices.

By: Chris

Chris — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:52:32 +0000

That “swing!” comment is classic!!

By: Joey

Joey — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 09:26:17 +0000

One other big comment and little comment…
1. After the hell night, I noticed a piece of paper in the bassinet under Joaquin that had been put there by the gals in the nursery. It simply said “swing!”
2. We took two pre-birth classes that lasted a half-day each. They told us everything, except for the hell that occurs when going from colostrum to breast milk. Might have been nice to warn us so we wouldn’t think we had a demon baby!! And afterwards, when I relayed the colustrum-to-breast milk hell experience to other parents at school, they just nodded their heads in that knowing manner. Parenthood.

By: Joey

Joey — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 09:02:10 +0000

A few things:

1. That bassinet was squeeky! I still have nightmares of laying on the blow-up mattress on the floor, trying to get one hour of sleep after depositing Joaquin in the nursery, only to hear that horrible squeeking coming to our door!
2. I think that doctor was making a mental note …. “possible post-partum depression candidate.”
3. Those nurses were either great or annoying little bitches. Nothing in between! When they changed shifts I kept my fingers crossed.
4. I am weak, Maria is strong, my sister is insane. I was so ready to throw in the breestfeeding towel after one night! I don’t know where Maria got the resolve to keep trying. Major surgery (c-section), much less sleep (I only had one sleepless nights… Maria had several), normally much less patience than me… and yet she told me to bring her Mom and go home and sleep that night (thank God Maria’s Mom had flown all the way from Colombia to help!!!). I guess there is another mommy gear, and Maria found it. (I won’t go into details… but I think my sister went through this for three weeks before telling the breast feeding nazis to go screw themselves).
5. Happy one month Joaquin!! Our beautiful little boy is such a wonderful addition! And so damn kissable!