Dear Big Fat Ass
Life • March 23rd, 2009Dear big fat ass,
I must tell you… I hate women like you: Over–the–top hyperactive, enthusiastic, rolling–on–the–floor–at–the–little–gym moms. And I would not be telling you and everyone else this, except for the fact that your big fat ass bumped into my child and made him cry while you were running backwards during warm up. You were looking at your daughter running away from her, prompting her to join your exuberant fun, and so nothing else existed in the world, not any other children who were trying to do their warm up. Just you, your daughter, and your big fat ass. And I wouldn’t be telling you this either — I would’ve forgiven you because we all make mistakes — except for the fact that you did not apologize at all, and instead acted almost like it was Joaquin’s fault for being there. For existing. You know what? Your daughter is not the center of the universe. And she is UGLY.
