Jan 12, 2012
Recently, I let go of several crippling habits I’ve carried for a long time.
I’m currently living:
- Not trying to save, change, or heal anybody (not even one in the autism spectrum)
- Without any need to accomplish anything
- Not seeking anybody’s approval (I haven’t been put to a big test recently, though)
- For the first time, under the assumption that there is NOT a purpose to my life; therefore “this trip” is just a free and wonderful gift to enjoy.
- Not looking at the clock or worrying about my time management.
- Doing at each time the thing that most captures my attention and I want to do most (surprisingly, sometimes that may be cleaning a toilet)
- No longer arguing (verbally or mentally) with reality. This alone has had a HUGE impact in my enjoyment for everything; thank you Byron Katie.
- Free of a lot of fear. Not all gone of course, but I’m anticipating less negative/annoying outcomes than I used to.
- Asking exactly for what I want, completely open to any answer I get.
Surprisingly, all of this is making me very patient, loving, open, accepting, happy, grateful, present, creative, peaceful, giving… towards me, Joaquin, and the rest of the world. And I am loving this winter.
I was afraid that moving here would make me selfish and irresponsible. Instead, my days are finally balanced between work and play, and both work and play feel equally awesome. Every day is different. Every day is great. Here, now… in this very ordinary life, I’m finally at peace… Now, truly, I am perfect. Joaquin is perfect. Joey is perfect. The groceries in my fridge are perfect. When hunger comes is perfect. Dirty clothes, toilets, and floors are perfect. Everything that is and happens, is perfect (deep sigh).