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parenting

Introducing Joaquin to Inquiry
(and adjusting for APD) »

Prompting and helping Joaquin to self-explore his beliefs and responses. Thank you Option Dialogue. Thank you Brain Engineering.

I hope que no me jodas! »

Talking with Kiki about school, college, work, and the need he will feel some day to be free from his parents and pursue and independent life.

My Purpose as a Parent »

Inquiry on a nagging stressful thought helped me clarify my purpose as Joaquin’s mother, shifting my focus from future outcomes to the tools, beliefs, and values I offer him now.

Are we still doing okay? »

Observations and fear as we started transitioning from four years of Son-Rise and my attuned “Eye of Mordor” towards life without a social development program.

Nurturing Conscious Independence »

Two weeks ago, Joaquin decided that he wants to be the chef of our home; he wants to make his own lunch, his own way. I decided to support his independence with some structure: Only one time a week, he can make his own “rogue” lunch. I make my own with him. I deal with […]

Creating space through contractions »

Just like a menstrual period, yet not exactly with the same frequency and predictability, I seem to experience cycles of contractive energy… They manifest primarily by a very strong need for space: physical and emotional. I find myself wanting to be alone, still, and silent. Mostly still and silent. Yet, mothering a four-year-old Sagittarius so […]

Cheat Sheet »

Breathe. Pause. Close your eyes. Slow down – moving, speaking, thinking. Forget time – Don’t look at the clock. Choose freedom. Say yes – to yourself. Suspend all judgments.

Love vs. Fear »

I used to think that if you do Son-Rise perfectly, your child will have no option but to recover (as in, be fully “cured” of autism). I did this in order to motivate me to play perfect Son-Rise and put all of me behind the goal of Joaquin’s recovery. I took this belief in an […]

Stepping Out of Yourself »

There is this big fat fear I’ve had for a long time, that as I get older evolves in relationship to the people in my life, but the core of it is still there. And now that I find myself every day telling the Universe that I want to advance spiritually, that I’m trusting, listening, […]

9. I can’t be around Joaquin when I’m unhappy »

At the core of this belief there is the very big and fat red itchy theory that I may have planted in Joaquin the subconscious idea that the world is not safe; that he is not welcome in my life. Sometimes I’ve thought that Joaquin may have experienced the conflict I had as a stay-at-home […]

Awetism — no typo here »

I’m the mother of an autistic child, and that –far from a curse, has made my life more extraordinary and amazing than I was planning for. The more I stretch out of my old beliefs and comforts, the more my son stretches through his limitations to come into my world.

Going to Battle »

A memorable experience of guidance: Turning a challenging moment in Kiki's social development into an inspiring opportunity to climb our mountain with joy and enthusiasm.

The Longest Test »

Challenged and discouraged by Joaquin's resistance to eat the nourishing food I started making with SCD. Fearful that my actions would not result in the outcome I was working towards.

Healing Journey: July 2010 »

06. The Romper Room Joaquin’s romper room (i.e. Son-rise playroom) is AWESOME!!!… Still haven’t closed the door, but with the massive migration of toys into it, the bollo is already spending time in the room, and I’m loving it. 07. Calling the Beacons of Light! Remember that exercise we did where we got on groups […]

But then, the bad days come »

What unhappiness looked like when life was difficult, when I was just beginning my journey as mother of a child with higher needs, and I felt trapped and uncomfortably stretched.

The Journey Ahead »

One month after discovering my son’s autism and the son-rise program, I’m starting to see the wonder of the process unfolding and how it’s meant to “cure” ME.

Embracing my high-needs little angel »

Active, challenging, demanding, draining, and clingy... So I have a high-needs child. It's time to accept it, embrace it, and change my perspective, so I can give him the attention he needs without killing myself in the process.

Climbing up to the surface »

As soon as I saw her, she reminded me of my mom. She looked mature, yet youthful. I liked everything she said, her experience, her presence at my house, and the best sign of all: Joaquin seemed to be ok with her. He ate his dinner peacefully, even with a “stranger” at the table. Then […]

So close to tragedy »

It’s been almost two weeks since I was given the names and numbers of five 12–year–old girls who live in the neighborhood and perhaps could babysit Joaquin. Despite a recent horrible day of depression and swearing that I will NOT have a second child, I haven’t called one of those girls yet. Joey asks me […]

The Wasteful Activities of a Childless Designer »

A little over a year ago, when I was a free, childless, freelance web designer, I had plenty of time to do things like: Encrypt my style sheets so plagiarists wouldn’t have such an easy ride with my portfolio site Put and manage traps to find out when somebody downloaded my portfolio site with a […]

Weaning »

No. Not from the breast… Turns out, Joaquin stopped breastfeeding exactly at the year without any trauma. It happened in the most natural, gradual, perfect way I could’ve possibly planned, except, I didn’t have to plan it and execute it. It just happened, and all three of us involved (Joaquin, me, and my boobs) didn’t […]

Out of Mother’s Morning Out »

One-year-old Joaquin cries and screams his way out of Mothers Morning Out and I feel betrayed and judged by his caregivers. One more puzzling experience that made a lot more sense with our discovery one year later.

Forget You! »

You’ve heard them. You may even be one of them. Without a whole lot of whining you dare to vent a tiny little fact related to how challenging your life has become with your (now seven months old) little bundle of joy, and Super Mom smiles and replies: “But they [children] are worth it”. Personally, […]

A Parenting Meme »

Monsieur Mandarine has tagged me, and what a great prompt for a post. The original meme (started by Litlove) attempts to gather information on cultural differences regarding parenthood. So let’s begin with some introductory facts for those readers not familiar with me: I’m new in the parents club and probably still have that smell of […]

Make — for a living
(or at least for my own sanity!) »

Web design is cool and all, but after several years of doing it, just like with any other job, my passion for some aspects of it has diminished a bit. I’m not sure that I can pull this off, but if I could, I would love, LOVE!, to become an illustrator, and to get back […]

Life is so much better with coffee »

Only three days after my mom left — and really just one day alone at home with Joaquin — I started to worry… How can I be new to this baby every day?… The question was twofold: How can I always be energetic to be there for my baby day after day?… and also, where […]

Four Weeks »

Soooo…. It’s been four weeks since Joaquin was born… Those of you who have had babies — specially moms — will probably understand that as much as I’ve wanted to write about my experiences, and share that christmas e-card template I promised, it is really hard to get much done between baby feedings… It takes […]

Introducing Joaquin, our perfect bolliti »

Our sweet baby Joaquin is finally here! In just a few days I’ve lived the worst and best moments of my life. There are so many stories I wanted to share, like what it felt like to be among the 25% of pregnant women who deliver via a c-section. Obviously I was not prepared for […]

Bolliti Panfriti »

I think I'm finally ready to have a baby, and want it.