Mafe Maria: Personal stories by autism parent mentor, Maria Stultz

Bollito or Bollita?

ultrasoundOur family and friends know it now. It was impossible to keep the suspense too long before we started receiving calls from our moms, dads, and sisters. They all wanted to know: Is it a boy or girl?…

Well, and I don’t blame them. Joey and I were so ready to know!… Up until now I had refused to think seriously of names, colors, clothes, decor, or anything baby until I knew. We kept counting the days to the big ultrasound with great anticipation. Except, yesterday morning (the morning of the ultrasound), of all possible days, Joey woke up with a bad stomach virus. Although he tried to get on the car with bed-hair and an emergency bucket (to catch any surprise puke), he was moaning so much, and looking so sick, that we decided it was best for him to stay at home. What a bummer!

So I was the first and only one to know for an hour. Although I hadn’t had any big premonitions of what it could be, I found myself thinking days earlier that if it was a girl I would be surprised, because for some reason, every time I thought of the baby recently, I thought of it as a boy. I didn’t know how to feel about that. I mean, I would be equally happy with either, but remembered that when I was younger, I always had thought I wanted boys. My family is very heavy on females, and I just think that boys are adorable, and would love to be a boy’s mama… But then I also thought of all the cons… how boys can be called to fight in war, how they like doing stupid things like racing on motorcycles, how they get married, and (unless they marry someone like me) end up spending way more time with their wife’s family than with their own… And so, I knew I also wanted a girl.

Maybe the reason why I kept thinking of the baby as a boy was because Joey had made such a huge fuss about it being a boy. For weeks, he acted so certain, and told me of all his dreams and how he would introduce the little Stultz to his father, like this big thing, such manly pride in having an heir who will pass on the family name to the next generation. Those that know Joey know how good he is with little girls, so it was obvious to me that he would be happy with either, but still: He kept talking about a boy. So I wondered if I was possibly biased by that. After all, when I first realized I was pregnant I was completely certain that it was a girl. It was only later, when the measurements of the baby suggested that it had been conceived one week earlier than I thought, that I conceded it *could* possibly be a boy.

So here it is: We’re expecting a boy.

I probably shoud’ve been more certain since I’ve seen my son before, in a few trips to my future.

Though both families would’ve also loved a girl, I know that many of them were secretly hoping for a boy. Our baby will be the third grandchild (first boy) in Joey’s family, and the first grandchild in mine. Second boy within his generation in both extended families… He’s suddenly become so much more real to me. Though we still need to check for more name options, the more I think and talk about it, the more it sounds like I already have a perfect name for him… Just be kind to mama when you finally come into this world, little bollo.


  1. On , Ivan wrote:

    Prima, sabías que Santiago también está esperando niño? Creo que es para inicios de septiembre pero no estoy muy seguro, a él le comenté que estabas esperando niño igual…. porque no creo que el lea tu blog, con él hablo es através del ajedrez, nuestro vicio favotiro…. Saludes!

  2. On , Marla wrote:

    I sent my woohoo excitement already, but it won’t hurt to give another WOOHOO!

    I wanted to know more about seeing your little boy in your future and so I followed the thread. Not a clue what it says except what you recapped in comments about Joey’s shoes which, of course has nothing to do with the baby.

    I know you said it was hard to translate the whole thing. Can you translate the part about seeing your son? My two years of Spanish 18 years ago isn’t doing the trick and I think I can understand your Spanish better than the BabbleFish translation. LOL.

  3. On , Maria wrote:

    Ok, first a little background…

    I think I may have told you, the trip to the future is just a visualization exercise, in which you go to the future and talk to the person you will be when you’re much older. It’s specially cool to do it when you have questions about decisions you’re taking currently, because the trip projects for you who you think you will become, and lets you see whether you like the image or not. The first time I did this, I thought that it would end up not being too revealing, because I probably would tell myself what I thought I wanted to hear. WRONG! Everytime I’ve done it, the old Maria has told me and shown me things completely surprising.

    So, this particular trip I took at a time when I had decided to go to business school. I was still at home, and although excited about the big change, I was a little worried to be gone for so long. I felt like maybe I would miss something important… Like meeting or recognizing my future husband… I had a few love stories going on, and was a little confused about my future.

    As part of the trip, the older you is supposed to show you something important. The old Maria started walking towards a room. At the time I was painting a lot, so as I walked there I was completely sure that the room would be a painting studio. But when she opened the door, my jaw dropped to the floor: It was a baby’s room. My grandchild’s room. At that time, babies were not a topic on my head. At all.

    She explained to me that she had a son, he was married, and this room was for his baby boy. My son and his family were coming to visit next day, and as she spoke of them, I could picture my son and daughter-in-law.

    This trip didn’t discuss anything else about the topic. However, the whole point of it — the message that she wanted me to hear, and the reason why she showed me what she did — was the fact that I would have a family. She wanted me to know that my future family was safe. That I wasn’t missing it by leaving to business school. I knew that the guys I was thinking of at the time were not it. That’s where I saw Joey’s shoes, and learned that I would meet him, when, and that he wouldn’t be a fellow student.

    So… anyway, as I said: This is not some voodoo about predicting your future, but when things match, I find it very cool.

  4. On , Marla wrote:

    Thank you for sharing. It’s wonderful.:)

  5. On , Petie wrote:

    I didn’t know that piece of the story. I had only ever heard about Joey’s shoes. That is very interesting. So, you’ll have a grandbaby one day, too? :)

  6. On , Maria wrote:

    That’s what I saw on that particular trip… I don’t know if I really will have a grandchild… I’d like to, but of course, first I need to get the son born and raised. Fun times coming ahead… :)