Mafe Maria: Personal stories by autism parent mentor, Maria Stultz

TMI (Too Much Information)

For the last few months Joey has been assisting a judge for his Judicial Externship. A couple of days ago, while working, Joey’s feeling a little fidgety. He finally confides in the judge: “My wife may go into labor today… This morning she told me to stay alert because she had just passed the biggest poop of her life”. The judge is all “Dude! GROSS!!! Wives don’t poop”.

True. We don’t. And we don’t fart either…

… But if we did…

Few things are as cute as when you let one small fart go and the “prrrtt” sound scares your baby in utero. You feel the belly shake and know that this specific sound (not all farts or sounds do it) has managed to surprise your baby. It’s interesting… With all the noise that goes on in there (heartbeat, stomach, rumbling gas, etc) he’s usually pretty indifferent to it. Perhaps he was just starting to fall asleep, or he was concentrated doing his sucking practice, and the “prrrrrrttt!” just surprised him.

Of course that never happens. Women don’t fart. Or poop. And amniotic fluid smells like roses : )

And with that fragrant flower I leave you… Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

5 comments:

  1. On , Joey wrote:

    I think I just threw up in my mouth.

  2. On , ksr wrote:

    oh just wait til you find out all the things LADIES don’t pass while in labor! heeheehee…you’re right TMI….

    Happy Thanksgiving….is Joaquincito having turkey???

  3. On , Maria wrote:

    Yeah… It’s probably one of the biggest concerns going into labor for the first time. I know I’ve thought about it, hoping it won’t happen, but every pregnancy article assures me: Docs and nurses have seen it all. They’ll have a trash bag ready (not sure if they’ll wipe me though), and nobody will let the baby land on a puddle of that stuff decent ladies don’t do.

    We’ve told Joaquin that if he’s going to come these days, better today than tomorrow. Being born on Thanksgiving Day is probably not much fun. Joey’s also telling him when NOT to be born because it will conflict with his next TX game. But today Joaquin is busy doing freaky stuff down low. It feels as if he was trying to break my water, or training for a marathon. Lots of little punches and flexing moves DEEP DOWN VERY LOW. Ouch!

  4. On , Jennifer wrote:

    So, I imagine Joey was really working on his professional network when he told the judge that… ;) Ewww !

  5. On , Maria wrote:

    I know I can always count on you for a reaction to a poop story. Ha! ha!