Seeing how Joaquin is constantly developing in unexpected ways, I’m finally coming to understand the whole notion that he is in fact developing in a way that is comfortable and natural for him. Whether as parents we think his development is slow, or “different” in a bad way… that’s just our judgement based on comparing him to typical children.
So today I was pondering again in the shower…
How about considering that what I’ve come to call “challenges” in his development are not true challenges?… I mean, if we see a baby not reading a book, we don’t say he/she has a challenge with reading. We simply don’t expect reading from somebody that young. So here I am, calling Joaquin’s acceptance of strangers a challenge, when I could see it instead as he’s not ready for that development yet. He’s currently focusing on developing other skills. Like, we are currently working hard at encouraging his consistent use of 2-3 word sentences, and meanwhile he’s writing numbers on his own, and adorning them with outlines of different widths, and filling them with colors… Not yet three years old, doing things that the average typical child does at 4-5 years.
Of course I’ll still continue presenting possibilities to him, like you continue to read to babies as a way of exposing them to a future skill. I’ll still do Son-Rise with a full believe that this “education” and way of raising him is exactly what he needs. But as you expect it with a typical child, right now… today… I’m considering the possibility… believing… that Joaquin will be whole in the end.
I already believed this. I already see him as a brilliant mind in the making and I always see a great future in the horizon for him. The difference is the change of perspective. Yesterday I saw some things as challenges. Today I intend to see them as areas not yet developed, that he will eventually get to… without a whole lot of my intervention. The path of least resistance… Less need to intervene. Not passivity, nonetheless… Just the believe that everything is happening at the right pace, and the perfect way how he needs it.