The road not taken
I think I just passed a test…
Was suddenly confronted by circumstances with the parallel universe where I could’ve gotten my dream (last year’s dream, anyway) of becoming a successful artisan. As I contemplated the reality that the Universe didn’t want it for me and redirected my path in such a direct and eloquent way, tears started pouring out of me. But for the first time ever I was in control. I knew I was choosing to cry and grieve, and all along I kept saying “I understand why it happened”.
Then I did a mini self-dialogue on why I had experienced sadness. I found the itch, and it didn’t hurt so much once I saw its size. It specially lost its edge when I went to my flickr page and started seeing the pictures of my current life, and I saw “the product of my efforts”…
So the Universe stopped me from contributing what I wanted to contribute to the world: Children’s clothes, textile jewelry, women and children’s knickknacks competing in the market with tenths of millions. Instead it asked me to fully commit to pouring all of who I am, all my energy love and joy in a tiny special creature. A crystal child. A dweller of the future New Earth.
I passed the test. I don’t feel the sadness anymore. Don’t see the door that was slam shut in my face as such a loss. I see the bright and beautiful door that opened instead, and how this creation I’m focused on right now (I’m all about creating), is way more enduring and valuable to the Universe than any material products and clever artistic designs I could’ve put out there.
I didn’t see it this way 12 months ago, but today I do. And that makes me realize that the Universe wanted me to grow up. I think I have.