Mafe Maria: Personal stories by autism parent mentor, Maria Stultz

Stepping Out of Yourself

There is this big fat fear I’ve had for a long time, that as I get older evolves in relationship to the people in my life, but the core of it is still there. And now that I find myself every day telling the Universe that I want to advance spiritually, that I’m trusting, listening, learning, and acting in accordance to those blind steps that magically appear to guide me… The little voice in my head reminds me over and over, that in order to fully give myself to this intention, I need to let go of THAT FEAR — the biggest fear I consciously know.

So I keep responding to the voice that I’m not ready to tackle it because I’m terrified of giving any power to materialize that event I fear by the simple act of thinking about it and trying to find acceptance in it in order to stop fearing it. I fear that when I accept it, it will happen. And of course I don’t want it to happen.

Somehow, today I found myself easing into it and making really good progress, and I won’t tell you the whole thinking (and intuitive) process that led me to were I have arrived, but I’m interested in having a discussion about one of the beliefs I’ve found so far.

As I contemplated Joaquin’s current situation, I found that I believe (at least consciously) that he will not regress into autism no matter what happens in his life. The Reconnection seminar I took last weekend gave me a new belief I rather like… The healing you receive with this energetic frequencies is for life. And although Joaquin has not been subject to a Reconnective Healing session by an experienced practitioner, I believe that we have tapped into this energy and its healing powers (a.k.a. “LOVE”) through our Son-Rise program, the attitude Joey and I have adopted over the last year, the work and love of our volunteers, and my constant conscious intention to raise my personal vibration. So I think that all the progress he has done so far is permanent.

But in the context of analyzing my fear, I wondered about Joaquin’s advancement from here. And what I found is the belief that for him to continue advancing to his highest potential he needs some key people willing to do something special to connect with him. They may be teachers or peers, but in order to have an influence in Joaquin and help him grow, in some way these people would have to come out of themselves, their way of thinking, and without being too dramatic, step out of their old lives as they know them. This is what has happened to the four individuals that currently exist in Joaquin’s life. We all have stretched ourselves.

So part of my fear comes from the fact that I don’t believe there are many people in this planet willing to do that. I know a few, and I realize that the Universe has put at least two of those individuals (Christy and Eliza) in our lives, but my fear must stem from the fact that I may not be trusting that those individuals will continue to appear in Joaquin’s life should Joey and I not be present.

So I wanted to ask you what you think… What do you believe is the state of humanity in this respect?… Do you see in your daily life the existence of these individuals? Do you see it in yourself?… Do you believe you have the capacity to come out of who you always have been in order to connect with another person?… What would it take for you to do that?

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One comment:

  1. On , Ivan wrote:

    If there is a strategy of survival no matter what consecuences may come in the future, I believe there is the hope to find people wiling and able to cooperate to Joaquin’s existence and well being.