Mafe Maria: Personal stories by autism parent mentor, Maria Stultz

Choosing and Allowing

I used to read “happiness is a choice” as “happiness is a choice, and you’re always supposed to choose it; if you can’t it’s okay for now, but do seek happiness when you’re ready”. And so I’ve done a lot of choosing, allowing, and then attempting to choose not sure if I’m ready… just perhaps because it feels like it’s time for the unhappiness to end, and eventually I’ve felt bad when I haven’t been able to choose out of it.

These last several weeks, the Universe has conspired to put me in the perfect situation to understand my choices better. I think I’m finally getting it. I’ve seen the opportunities and gifts I’ve gotten from allowing myself to not always choose happiness, but instead accept the emotion that rises inside. The quicker I accept it, the quicker it does its job and leaves me with more control to observe what just happened. As I’ve analyzed my choices, where they’ve come from, and what they mean, I think I’ve learned a lot about myself, I’ve given Joaquin the opportunity to learn some too, and we’ve both benefited from that process.

Right now I find myself in peace (and happiness). And I intend to enjoy it until the next clean up comes up. I think next time, I’ll be better prepared to consider happiness as just one of many options, but not necessarily the only appropriate one.

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