Mafe Maria: Personal stories by autism parent mentor, Maria Stultz

Easing Into My Resistance

From Attitudinal Notes in our Son-Rise Program’s tracking forms, I wanted to share with Team Joaquin my win yesterday. Just so you know that I also have attitudinal hiccups, and feedback with you guys always inspires me to find and repair my own leaks of energy, peace, and joy.


Going into a repetitive activity with Kiki: Pretending to drive to the train station, riding the train downtown, shopping at Petitos Salvajes, and then the trip back home.


I noticed my mild sense of discomfort in anticipation of playing the game again (a game not close to my motivations). Sometimes I give in to this discomfort, and avoid the game or playing with him, but today I wanted to be with Joaquin in an experience that is meaningful and joyful to him, so I relaxed my mind and myself… I decided to let him lead it all the way, and be very very easy with myself, focusing my attention on him and his joy, away from any sense of pressure for me to express or match his energy or add variations or build myself. As a result, I gave him SO MUCH space, and I had such a relaxed great experience riding the wave with him, and being light, loving, and present. I loved that I was able to step in it, be subtle and let him have his pure non-exclusive ism. Also realized, seeing how excited and fast he was leading, that variations wouldn’t have been right at that moment. Being in it with him, and letting him have it BIG with me is perfect and enough for him, and me.

How I joined:

I totally relaxed on this with the intention to ride the wave with Joaquin and not compete with him. Let him lead entirely and only get in if he left space. When he announced the first station, I repeated the announcement pinching my nose and making a nasal voice; he loved it, immediately imitated me and prompted me every time to do it again (I just did it once and let him ask me for it). I loved watching his joy and just riding it with him. He was more than happy to lead it all the way (it was FAST).

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