Mafe Maria: Personal stories by autism parent mentor, Maria Stultz

A message from a horse

Act 1. (last night) I tell my friend Gretchen that I feel a bit off, unable to receive multidimensional info from “the field” like I was a few months back while going through Awesomism Level 1. I also share with her that Joaquin is a bit off too, a little teenagery, aloof with me, and disengaged from physical affection.

Act 2. (this morning) I tell Joey my very unusual dream last night:
I find out that some ducks have been living right under my nose in my bathroom and I’m amazed I haven’t been able to see them all along, then out of nowhere the most beautiful, reddish brown horse walks intently towards me. I’m a bit afraid; this creature is strong, and big, and I don’t know what he wants with me. The horse reaches me, bows and bumps my head with his. It’s a lovely affectionate gesture and my fear is replaced by the immediate recognition that this horse and I are one. We belong together. He is beautiful, strong, and wise, and he’s found me, he’s telling me he loves me. I climb and get on his bare back well aware that I don’t know how to ride a horse, hoping he will be kind to me, but getting on him feels like a calling, like I am supposed to –eventhough I feel unsure and afraid I may fall.

I have never seen a horse in my dreams, have seen real horses maybe twice in my life… This dream is puzzling and meaningful to me. I wonder what the horse meant, who or what he symbolized…

Act 3. (this afternoon) Kiki and I have just had lunch and played all morning filming an episode of his new TV show. I have offered to edit this one for him and am at it on my laptop. He comes to me and bumps my head with his in the same way the horse did last night. Suddenly I realize: He was the horse and came in my dreams to tell me:

No matter what I’m seeing right now, no matter how he’s acting, he and I are connected in the deepest non-physical way. He loves me; we are one.

The message comes right through. Multidimensional information from the field I thought I was having a hard time receiving just lands in my dream and then unravels during the day. I tell Kiki immediately: YOU WERE MY HORSE! and I tell him all about the dream. He smiles and hugs me, and tells me “I love you again!”.

Wow, people… Just wow! :)

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