Off and Reset
Inappetent and unable to taste most food, but craving refreshing cold drinks.
Having the sense that Christmas happened a month ago, and last year ten years ago.
Sleepless after sleeping through three days and nights of fever.
Finger knitting.
Slightly checked out.
Uninterested and skeptic about the philosophy of every teacher, coach, therapist, and evolved guru.
Detached from my own spiritual and existential beliefs.
In love with the way my senses respond to very specific aspects in the song Ophelia.
Considering (and noticing how my body giggles and buzzes at the thought of) letting go of a bunch of rules.
Considering not giving a shit anymore.
Thinking maybe I’m experiencing that thing called “A dark night of the soul”.
Not expecting that thing called “Awakening” when this state is over. Not expecting anything at all.
Only music seems to get through.
Feeling like dancing (and maybe howling) alone.